Boo! I don't wanna be hassled by MAGAs. Whaaah! People are gonna call me names. Humph! I'd rather my clothing not be political. Well, congratulations! YOU are the reason the MAGAs get away with what they get away with! Try this instead: Call them on their bullsh*t, challenge their "truths", and wear something that'll make THEM feel uncomfortable. What?! They don't like it? Weeeellllll TOO BAD. I didn't like J6, or that "salute", or their perversion of our flag. You know that old saying, "If you don't like the heat, get out of the kitchen..."
Alexander the great had a horse named Bucephalus, Caesar had a horse named Austurcone, and Putin has a fat, sweaty, slobbering tub named Trumpii of Teslur. With a steady diet of cheeseburgers and soda, Trumpii of Teslur is as big as a bear, fast as a sloth, and smelly as a skunk. His directional aptitude and keen sense of right and wrong are second to... just about everything else on planet Earth.
Even the FLIES are bailing from this stinking pile of degenerate filth. In the latest polls, over 65% of flies concurred that they rather sit on a steaming Marjorie Taylor Greene dump than have ANYTHING to do with this load of refuse.
Combine terrible design, shoddy build quality, horrendous reliability, minimal back seat head room, and a reputation of indestructibility born from a man who thinks X Æ A-Xii is a heckofa name for a child.... and you've got a BRILLIANT IDEA!
So JD thinks Elon is making him "look bad"? Define "look bad", because his current look isn't working. Maybe in the early '80's Glam Rock era, but not these days. Perhaps if you added a coat, a "girlie tee" a size too small, some creepers, hair product and lots of man make-up, then yeah... maybe. And only then, maybe.
You see, there's this show called Last Week Tonight. A while back they had an episode about Elon, and within that episode they discussed an alleged aversion of his to yellow caution tape. He doesn't wear yellow, no Tesla is painted yellow, and he hates yellow tape (but not orange cones). So okay... he HATES YELLOW (just like Haitians eating dogs, it's a leap... right MAGA's?!!!)
Nimble on his tiny feet, stable in his genius, Dmitri Trumpi, star of the Bolshoit Ballet, balances precariously on the economic indicator as it drops into the abyss. He is a marvel! How does he do it? The secret: He doesn't think, therefore he doesn't know. And if he doesn’t know, he can make stuff up. And, if he can make stuff up, then he’s a tremendous marvel!
The Pride of 14th... y'know, I was thinking of something clever to write, but what do you say about somebody like her? In fact, this might be the ugliest design ever to emanate from my computer. But.... somehow it works. Like her, quite bizarre.
Sitting at the cafe, enjoying a hot coffee beverage. You look up at the sky. "Wow! What a beautiful day!", you exclaim. Sitting at the next table, "You know, the sky is blue because of a liberal conspiracy to poison the atmosphere and make us all progressive zombies who love EVs and illegal immigrants! Have you ever read the book from [insert author you've never heard of here]? HE CAN PROVE IT!!"
"Lock Up" Moisture® with Strongman Diapers. Trusted by both despots and the delusional worldwide, Strongman Diapers employ Machismofiber® technology to keep a 100% man 100% dry 100% of the time. Strongman... diapers for the DICTATOR in YOU.
Maybe the bro-mance will last a year. Maybe a month, or tomorrow. But, whenever Cupid leaves the building, it's gonna get messy. Maybe a relaxing vacation to Mars will save the relationship. Uh oh! Did something just snap?
Poor broke-assed b*tch Putey. He's blown his dough on Ukraine. He's wasted MORE cash on Trumpy (who's now replaced him with Musky as his BFF). Wanna invade Europe? Good luck with THAT bank account. North Korea? Phff... seriously? China? Nope. Having too much fun with their capitalism. Poor, poor broke-assed Putey.
Chrissy Teigen said it, and it was reiterated before Congress. Is it accurate?... Heck yeah, it is! I just wish some renegade had switched out the stage lighting behind Trumpy during his speech. No go, so this tee will have to do.
Works best with dark shirts.
Florida's Finest! Glowing reviews! He's the "Sweet 16 Specialist". Can't say much more or I'll get in a lotta trouble... really really! (fans of 80's alt rock will get the reset).
The infamous chewing gum of yesteryear that slapped hard for EXACTLY 30 seconds before devolving into a clump of rubber inside your mouth. And that amount of time is a generous approximation as to how long I can listen to MAGAs scream "rigged" and "unfair" despite ZERO evidence supporting such claims.
